Who are you doing it for?

Do you need to do something for someone else because they were so nice to you in the past that you would feel bad if you didn't help that person out? And, does that feeling of debt cause you to bend-over-backward for that person? And, how many times is it all usually at your expense?

The culture of social debt doesn't make sense to me. If I do something nice for you without asking for something in return, why should you feel you owe me in the future? Because I was nice? Because it's the right thing to do?

Running around for people who we "owe" is not for them - we do it for us. We do it to rid ourselves of the uncomfortable feeling of guilt. We do it because we don't believe we deserve better. Stop it.

Unless you have an agreement with someone in which one acts leads to an in-kind act, you don't owe people for being nice to you. Those people chose to be nice to you, and you chose to receive their kindness - process complete. If you are going to return the favor, be mindful of who it is for.

It's not for you, your guilt, or your sense of what people like you "should" do.

It is for them. Because you can do something worth something for someone else because that's what people like you do. And when you do that, you will feel fulfilled.

Dedicated to all of the minds fraught with guilt, and a sense of “should.”