Extreme tribalism is a danger.  
And this form of tribalism is born from hurt.  

My sister was recently dumped by a guy.  
The reason was that she's not Hispanic enough.
Are you kidding me?

She's not Hispanic at all. Nor is she white. She's just Maria!  
And the person who dumped her wanted to be with someone who was more in touch with their culture.  

The problem for Maria, myself, and those like us, is simple. We do not live in our birth culture. We grew up differently. But, the culture we grew up with is ours.  

So for someone to say, "You need to be more in touch with your culture," is inherently false.  
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Here’s another example: have you seen people write on Facebook, "Well if you don't agree with me, I'm done being your friend. Just un-friend me now!"?  

I have seen that, more times than I care to mention. And its a result of hurt.  
And, as you can see with my sister, it's playing out in relationships.  

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To be part of a tribe is to be part of a culture.
The extreme version of that is to shun and create war.

We’re in a state where many tribes are hurting.
And when our tribe is hurt, we come to the defense/offense.
And when we do that, we start digging our heels in and creating a wall between us and the others.

But you can change that. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Keep still, watch, and remember, you create your own culture.  
You can create a culture where it’s okay to be different.
You can create a culture where the other side matters, too.
You can create a culture where to be inclusive means to acknowledge the truths of everyone.

Nelson Mandela did this with the Truth & Reconciliation Commission.
We can do it , too.