My friend went to the grocery store and purchased meats, desserts, and all sorts of snacks for the party. His family from out-of-town visited and planned to stop over to watch the game. My friend cooked, set out the snacks, and prepared the house. And then at the last minute, everybody canceled.
My friend never received a commitment that his family would stop over. Nobody knew that my friend prepared a spread. My friend expected all these things to happen because "family should stop over."
Should my friend expect so much from his family? Should his family expect so much of him?
I am concerned that we unfairly expect too much from others. I wonder if we serve ourselves better by expecting little to nothing from others. If we expect less, don't we give ourselves the ability to be surprised by people?
I have a working theory: lower expectations of others leads to higher rates of accepting people as they are; higher rates of acceptance leads to stronger bonds.