I used to own a music contracting agency. This type of business hires musicians for gigs — a broker. When I started this business, I was young - 18 years old. I started it because I had something other musicians didn't. I had access.  

If you're going to introduce a new product to the market, having access to the market is critical. Being able to connect others to your product or service leads to increased business. My problem was not the access; my problem was that I was aware others did not have the access I had.  

Going through music school, I never excelled at any one thing. Moderately okay jazz musician, I never dedicated myself to classical, and a half-decent sight reader - looking back at it, I wouldn't have been my first call. However, at the time, I felt I "should" be. Moreover, I felt those that didn't call, or those that were "purists," had no place doing work with me. Enter pride.  

Now with access to great gigs and influence, I could hold myself above others. I felt better than everybody else. I was not ashamed of demonstrating myself as being better than others. I felt those that had "poo-pooed" me earlier didn't "deserve" the benefit of my access - because now I was better. As a result, I did not give access, and I worked to create harms for them.  

As with all my failures, I soured relationships. Though more than a decade ago, my previous actions follow me to the present. I learned a harsh lesson as a young man: pride and revenge don't pay.  

The theme of this series is that failure is "failure" if you choose not to learn. I've learned.  

• There's never a reason to harm another person. Never. It doesn't matter how awful they were to you. We live in a climate where "punching back" is looked upon as good - it's not.

• Be generous with access. Access and influence are great if you'd like to control the market. However, I've found more fulfillment sharing access and power with others.

• The past does not portend the future. I live in the "present." Yes, in the past I have made many mistakes, who hasn't? Now, I can choose every action I take. For those that want to work with someone like me, I welcome them. For those that want to hold on to the past, that's okay; I'm not for them.

• Pride is good - but in balance. You're never better than anybody else - you're different. It's good to celebrate what you've done and what you've accomplished, especially when it helps others. It's not good to celebrate at the expense of others.

Too much pride creates too many troubles.  

Watch yourself.  

Help others.