Who doesn't obsess about the past? Who doesn't get anxious about the future? Who doesn't feel lost in the fog of the here and now?
Your Mind as a Temporal GPS
Your ability to be the most effective individual relies on your ability to balance information from the past (how things were), the present (things as they are now), and the future (things as we want them to be). Too often we abuse this ability and, like Marty McFly, get stuck in the past, the future, and search endlessly to come back to the present.
The Past
Know somebody that spends too much time reflecting on what they "should" have done? I know tons.
Know somebody that can't get over how someone upset them earlier in the day? I know tons.
I am guilty of being all of the above, and I am sure you are as well. None of us are alone. We are guilty of abusing an ancient skill that has helped shape our species into what we've become - learners. Studying the past allows you to learn from mistakes, change our behavior in the present, and be the change we want to see in the world.
The Present
I study mindfulness. I believe "mindfulness" is a reincarnation of ancient and primal modes of existence. All nature is inherently mindful. However, I've abused "mindfulness" as I'm sure you have to and have gotten lost in the fog.
The "Fog of Now" is the effect that comes from not knowing where you're going, where you came from, and not being quite sure what you're doing at the moment. The fog comes when we overthink about the present. Practice mindfulness so that you can be in the moment, realize what's happening around you, and be engaged. Retrace your steps and remind yourself of how you came to be in the present moment. Stay out of your head.
The Future
Seneca says:
"Cease to hope, and you shall cease to fear."
I couldn't agree more.
Destroying and shattering your hopes and dreams is not my goal. Instead, I want you to find a healthy balance of creating a vision for the future while accepting that things will most likely change. Remove the word "should" from your vocabulary. It creates an unhealthy expectation that doesn't allow for things to change. Life happens. Replace "should" with "can" or "will."
Example 1: Replace "I should be able to run a mile" with "If I run each day, I will be able to run a mile in 10 minutes by April 1, 2030."
Example 2: Replace "You should have told me" with "next time if you're able, please try to tell me right away so that I can respond quickly."
Example 3: Replace "I should have practiced harder, that's why I fail so often" with "In the past, I didn't practice effectively, now I will effectively practice each day for 30 minutes with the hopes of winning more."
Create a clear vision of the future. It's also important to shape that vision in a way that allows you to accept failures, uncontrollable circumstances, and life.
Stop Overthinking
You overthink. You can stop.
Stuck in the past: Stop, remind yourself where you are right now and give yourself a clear vision of the future.
Stuck in the fog of now: Stop and retrace your steps, and give yourself a clear vision of the future.
Stuck in the future: Stop and acknowledge the present, and retrace your steps.
You overthink. You can stop. Stop.
A good resource: https://www.mindful.org/difference-between-being-and-doing/
Related Entry on Pride.
